It has been years since I’ve posted to this blog, the full-on flow of therapy practice-meets-parenting and all the many in-betweens calling me off my screen and into connection as much as possible. Yet I’m eager to restart, hoping to share my voice and reflections for anyone meanders this way and finds them meaningful. Turns out, long-form writing and podcasts are much preferred to me than sound bites and hot takes, slowing the pace of life toward more digestible information. Welcome!
This first post back is to introduce you to the why behind a very special business my two longtime therapist pals, Raina Hassan, LPC & Sarah Block, LPC and I created called Wider Circles Collective. Our intention is bringing the exponential magic of group work with a variety of our favorite healing practices outside of our therapy work, from breathwork and Reiki, to archetypes and astrology — in workshops and retreat settings.
To Bless the Space Between Us
This is not the moment for platitudes. Those failed us long ago, perhaps around the time news anchors began overusing the term unprecedented. What do we even say? How do we “weather report” our present day forecast into something discernible when much of the time, we might just rather wail?
The late Irish teacher & poet, John O’Donohue, knew a thing or two about speaking to the realness of the here & now. The right now, in all of its myriad forms. In his last book of poetry, published in 2008 only a short time before his sudden death at the age of 52, O’Donohue weaves words on behalf of the Life Stuff we find ourselves navigating – the moments raw, yet oh-so common – those that most often have us tongue tied. From threshold moments like For a Friend on the Arrival of Illness, to states of the heart like For Grief, For Failure, For Beauty, For Equilibrium, these poems emphasize the preciousness and paradox in our ordinary human existence. He offers us language to share to bridge the space between hearts, anchoring us through high and low seas. What a gift. As wisely noted by Megan Falley when bravely reconnecting to penning poetry to speak with her beloved, Andrea Gibson, from across the veil, poems come complete with “an understanding that anything can happen… that in the process of compressing human emotion into such a small container, the writing doesn’t always have to go long, but deep.”
This simple permission to flow with movement of pencil to paper parallels the potent portal of our breath. This omnipresent and autonomic expression of aliveness comes in a multitude of shapes, from restricted to expansive, depending on our mood, stress levels and intentionality, the language of oxygen communicating between the systems inside our bodies.
So when in doubt about how to bless the space between us in these wild times: Poetry. And Breath. To the beat of your heart, or the tune of a favorite song. Slow and deep for relaxation, or fast to quickly propel you into a non-ordinary state of consciousness; these rarely complex and exceedingly accessible “basics” feel like just the calling in that we need at this moment of chaos in hyperspeed. How might John O’Donohue bless us if he were still alive today? What energy, love and tenderness would he share with us in this collective threshold we find ourselves in?
Perhaps he would call upon Celebration of our endurance to tolerate/manage/release/be with/continue to love one another through such times of uncertainty. He would no doubt be cheering us on for finding moments to be held within that sacred space between – between nervous systems and imperfect human language. This person-to-person transmission, as Lakota Elder, Tiokasin Ghosthorse speaks to in this recent interview, is the water that nourishes our mission at Wider Circles Collective. We understand the privilege of co-regulation and attunement well through our years-long therapy practices, yet we remain hungry for more of what immersive, in-person experiences can electrify. When bodies, minds, hearts and souls sync up in a shared experience of co-creation, a collective spark of the now in all of its forms beautifully arises. Our individual systems momentarily link to the experience of the whole: a palpable inter-being of heartbeats and breath of those around us. No longer do we have to carry this all alone; rather, whatever arises in us is free to be released and supported by the larger, spontaneous organism we’ve built.
Attending such spaces is deeply courageous. Many have experienced trauma and pain within these containers. It is a sad but all-too true statement that institutions over time have sought power over through weaponizing the powerful human yearning for belonging. It is brave to be seen and to show up as you are, authentically, in each moment. Selecting which authentic mask to “wear” to titrate vulnerability? Fine by us! Weeping with grief, laughing till you snort, or both at once? We’re here with you! While there is so much we don’t know about all that is to come on the horizon, our hope with each workshop and retreat we share is that you can slow down the pace and demands of this moment, even just for a couple of hours, to remember what it feels like to exist in your wholeness amongst other perfectly imperfect humans. We want you to remember your Magic. To release, restore and reimagine all that is possible. Be you Asha and your village singing together to rise up against the omnipotent Magnifico in Wish, (#TraumaTriangle much?!) or Rumi shining light on shame and standing in power toward Gwi-Ma, we welcome you to feel the limitless strength and potential that arise in you when you are in your truth and broken-hearted. Against all odds, we’ve got us!
Now is the time to free the heart,
For Celebration — by John O’Donohue
Let all the intentions and worries stop,
Free the joy inside the self,
Awaken to the wonder of your life.
Open your eyes and see the friends
Whose hearts recognize your face as kin,
Those whose kindness watchful and near,
Encouraging you to live everything here.
See the gifts the years have given,
Things your effort could never earn,
The health to enjoy who you want to be
And the mind to mirror mystery.
Inner Compass Counseling 